so i took a nap when i got home, which was not as late as i thought it would be, and i feel slightly better. but still dissatisfied with some of the vibe this weekend. i realize, that of course, some of it was me, but like i said before, it is difficult to not get 'sulky' or irritated or whatever, when you feel out of place and pushed away by your own friends. perhaps we should dub it the 'third wheel syndrome' and be done with it. i'm sure she didnt' mean to make me feel that way, but nonetheless that is how i ended up feeling now i'm all sulky again, obviously. i was seriously feeling a bit better. i suppose the point is simply that i will feel fine again once i can see that it was all in my head, which would require talking to my friend. now i really sound like some melodramatic teenager, but deep down, i guess that is how i feel. just afraid and insecure. blah to that! i never really felt these things before in regards to my relationship with her, i always felt completely secure and stable, bound by our loving friendship. maybe it is just me feeling third-wheely and just making it worse by not waiting to hear from her before i make up crazy things in my head and freak out as i may do sometimes:)