Yes, I am Aliiiiiive

And also yes, I am lame for not blogging in so dang long that Britney may or may not be pregnant again, Jessica Simpson will be running for President with her ooky dad as V.P., the earth has started to spin backwards on its axis and there is all that crazy fire and brimstone and the four horseman and all that.

The lack of blogging, however, is not the only thing that is lame. There are many lame things and I have triumphantly returned to the internet to list a few them.

Presenting: Things that are Lame, Volume 1

1. It is snowing. Last week was spring and this week it is SNOWING. I am bitter and I live in New England; the two go hand-in-hand.
2. Speaking of snow, the people in charge of salting and plowing were pretty lame this winter. Especially the people in charge of the steep curvy hill I drive to up to get to work. Most of the time they were scraping and plowing going down, in the morning when everyone is going up. Dumb and lame.
3. The fact that Alias has not yet returned. It is finally scheduled to do so on April 19th and all I have to say is that it had better be good and I better get to see my boyfriend Michael.
4. Losing an hour. Having more sunlight is not lame, but my major tiredness is lame. This lameness will hopefully wear off soon enough.
5. Chocolate has calories and fat and sugar that attach themselves to various parts of my body. Permanently.
6. That my work team has to move to temporary office space that is just not as ‘nice’ as what we have now. It is only us, and ‘nice’ refers to having our separate cubicles and a fridge which will be non-existent in the new place.
7. The people who design pants for women. They seem to forget about the part where woman often have actual hips and thighs and butts unlike most 10-year-old-6-foot-tall-lets-wear-pants-down-to-our-nether-region-people that pants are apparently designed for. Actually, the pant designer people surpass lame and go straight to being evil and of the devil.
8. The writers of fantasy books (shush! guilty pleasure reading!) who cannot wrap it up already. Shut up and actually write some plot and stop just putting in more characters and more subplots that do nothing. You are not getting paid by the word. In fact, I am boycotting you until there is some serious improvement. Yes, you do care about that.
9. That I lost my VCR remote. That means there is two hours of crap to search through before I can get to the Gilmore Girls episode I taped last night because I couldn’t put the thing on timer and just had to tape everything on WB. Which may not be so bad, but its 7th Heaven that comes on hours before GG.

I’ll think of more lame things soon enough. In fact I’m thinking of a couple right now. But I’ll just save those for the second edition.