If I Had a Minion for a Day

I’d make the minion…

1. Fetch me as much Diet Coke with Lime as I wanted.
2. Suck all the calories out of any chocolate I wanted to eat. Especially chocolate chip cookies!
3. Massage my feet.
4. Cook me a fabulous dinner with yummy veggies and spices and things.
5. Massage my head.
6. Google interesting things to keep me entertained.
7. Tell me funny stories.
8. Go and put gas in my car.
9. Magically procure me lots of cool and fun yarn and also make my little hands be able to work faster when using said yarn.
10. Throw me a party, whenever and however I wanted, with only fun people there.
11. Do some of the tedious stuff at work.
12. Reach for my Kleenex for me. Actually, this one is only a maybe on the list of things for my minion to do.
13. Use the elliptical at the gym but magically apply all benefits to my pudge.
14. Find me cute clothes that fit.
15. Do my hair, as long as they can channel my hair dresser.
16. Fetch me Advil.
17. Tamper with the heat in the office so that I am not so cold.
18. Boost my ego with flattery.
19. Do my all my evil bidding, like sending friends emails that say their feet smell or have apricot armpits.