Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Bleh, Eh and Urgh
a.ka. It's my pity party and I'll whine if I want to.

Things I am not caring about or for:

1. Stupid programs that I am re-running for approximately the 5th time because changes I asked for eons ago were not done.

2. QCing reports. Ya’ll while the work has a decent place in the world, we are not curing cancer. Simmer down.

3. That people are getting worked up for any of this work stuff that is mundane.

4. Babying and hand-holding over things that should be known by now, or at least things that should be attempted without hand-holding or babying.

5. Small talk. Let it be enough for now that I am physically present. Or, instead, be sincere and if you aren’t feeling somewhat actually interested in talking to me, talk to someone else. (This applies to men and women, I'd rather be left alone than with someone who is only looking for someone better to talk to.)

6. Asking me for the hundredth time what I do for a living, make a weird face when I tell you, and proceed to make me get all involved in explaining it when you clearly don’t care. Just accept the vague job description and move on, or actually try to understand while acknowledging the fact that since you are not in the same industry maybe you do not know everything about it (I know I don’t).

7. Chronic joint pain.

8. That today I am feeling that I suck, am dumb, not good enough, and also pudgy. Caveat: I am allowed to have such days from time to time.

9. That it just too often seems I am seen only as someone who is good for a few laughs or a hug or sympathy and nothing else, and that I certainly don’t need the same in return. It can seem that people want to use me rather than be with me. (Not maliciously and maybe not intentionally, but 'use and move on' all the same).

10. That despite my efforts, too many of my clothes are either really snug or not fitting, and therefore limiting any ability I do have to be pretty.

11. ( and this is a big whiiiiiine...)I am never anybody's favorite. Ever. Boo on that.

12. My hair.

13. I am tired of not being pretty or elegant.

14. Being obnoxious really is my only talent, and that was more indoctrinated into me than anything else. Also, this replaces any charisma I may have ever had (none).

15. Never having 'my thing'. Not being good enough at anything totally sucks.

16. Wondering if I should ever look for a new job or new line of work entirely.

17. Nobody wants me, even platonically.

18. Prissy people.

19. Prissy people who think they are cool and/or edgy.

20. When other people think the prissy (and often fake) people are super cool. (also can be read: cooler than me).

21. Condescending crap.

22. The continuing lackluster workouts.

23. The scale that magically keeps going up instead of down, even if it went down before.

24. The pudges and bulges that WILL NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE. They insist on spilling out everywhere and I hate them.


The end.

p.s. I may lengthen this list throughout the day
p.p.s Let's also assume that what I'm saying is valid and that while normally I try to be very understanding of other people, this is one of those times when I am just worn down by it.

9 comments:

nanni said...

I am sorry you feel blah today. I think we all have days like that, especially when surrounded by irritating or dumb people, and just need to vent and for everyone to go away. So vent away my darling. I'm here to listen.

And know that I will always think you are beautiful and smart and funny and just all around a wonderful, caring person and there's nothing you can do to stop that!

Kate said...

My dear, dear Catchka. First things first: You are allowed such days. Sometimes the irritations, niggling doubts/fears/worries just add up and there is nothing to do but say "yes, i feel blah...wanna make somethin' of it?"

like g, i am here to listen. and to just be with you (virtually speaking) while you just feel what you're feeling.

you are a gorgeous woman, inside and out, who deserves to have someone's undivided attention while you talk about your job, your volunteer work, your hobbies, anything. you are undiscovered genius, and you deserve good good things.

Mary said...

Cat,

All I have to say is...where's the rest of this list? Bring it on, sister! Shoot, that's your list on a BAD day? This looks like my "Every Day of the Week" list.

You. Are. So. Entitled. I want to listen, and I want to help if you need me to. Also, I was just telling someone the other day that you are definitely a favorite with me.

You're wonderful. And dumb people suck.

cat said...

You guys seriously rock my world. I'm so glad I can indulge myself and not be thought less of:)

Oh, not really a bad day, so to speak...but more a 'optimism is not winning out and hello pity violins' type day. It's usually there, I just usually manage it better. Heh.

I can also have seriousy petty comments at time, maybe another post...:)

Seriously...LOVELOVE you guys.

nanni said...

I find that I don't care for a lot of the same things you don't care for! We are so alike!!! Except that whole you have boobs and I don't but have a big butt thing...

cat said...

g, your butt is phat, phine, and phreakin' awesome.

nanni said...

You are too funny.

jasmine said...

Cat, I don't know you but I know Mary and she thinks that you are awesome and so it on'y goes to follow that I would think the same not to mention the fact that I just read this post and was thinking that you had just taken my thoughts and put them in a post. CRAZY!! Anyhow, keep venting, optimism can't win out all the time!!!

Anonymous said...

Sing it sister! You are not alone...I would have to just clarify that winter jumpers and freezing fingers only add to the 'pudge factor'. Oooh, I'm seeing a new 'reality' TV show...

Love you...e-mail coming soon!