I'm a Barbie girl/ in a Barbie World

Act I
C: Read this.
S: Yeah. I've known about this for a few days. And I was incredulous. I'm not really sure what this can be chalked up to, except a publicity stunt. And how can Mattel decide that Barbie and Ken are breaking up? Do they know how many kids have Barbie and Ken dolls who are going to continue to act out scenarios in which these dolls are a couple?
C: And apparently deep tans and board shorts are a sign of singleness? If only I?d known!
S: And yet Barbie is not meant to stay single, because this new look has already attracted the Australian boogie boarder, Blaine.
C: Blaine. Noone in Australia is named Blaine unless they moved there after their lame soap opera career ended.
S: I think they decided that Ken was not hip enough. It's not his fault that he essentially wears a tuxedo or swimming trunks and has outdated hair! And his reluctance to marry? The man would love any occasion that required him to wear a tux! It's one of only two outfits he has (as I mentioned above). I think Barbie has been better dealing it for 43 years, and let's be frank, these two are about 60 years old now, so I don't know that hoops and tans are a good look for them, anyway. They should have Depends and orthopedic shoes.
C: Barbie has just had an awful lot of plastic surgery, is all. Poor Ken. Maybe he?ll go after Skipper now. really, I think Barbie should be looking like Joan Rivers.

Act II
C: More Barbie intrigue.
S: Okay, so is Barbie dumping Ken except for when he's James Bond?
C: Or she dumped him and then he became James Bond so that she'll sleep with him, since that is what happens in those movies. Where the heck is Blaine in all of this?
S: That is the 64,000,000 dollar question. where the heck is Blaine, indeed. see Blaine the Australian boogie border will never stick by her when she reinvents herself every year. Blaine is not into that. He's already gone. At last report, Barbie was seen sobbing into Ken's broad chest.
C: It's b/c board shorts and bikini tops are so pass?. Plus, Ken updated his hair.
S: See, Ken is a classic. And you can't be a classic, iconic man and I heard from Ken's "people" that he had no interest in being Barbie's friend. When she heard that she had a nervous collapse. She didn't realize she couldn't have her cake and eat it too.
C: Was that before or after they slept together during James Bond role-playing? Maybe he was giving her one last chance? But then she said Blaine's name. I bet that's what happened. Stupid Barbie. Skipper's going to have to commit her to Barbie's Dream Sanitarium.
S: Skipper hired Blaine to divert Barbie's attention away from Ken, and she also told them lies about each other to drive a wedge between them. Skipper has wanted Ken from the word go, but he told her pedophilia was not his thing. This enraged her.
C: I had no idea! Skipper Slut is now her name. Psycho Skipper Slut.

Act II
S: Okay, on a related, but slightly different topic. Why don't they make Starbucks Barbie. That would make a killing!
C: I don't think Barbie is pc enough for them, but I think it is very fitting. Mocha Grande Frappacino Barbie!

The End