so today i had to wear shoes and socks, not because they were comfortable, like sneakers, but because it was actually chilly enough today to warrent it. especially this morning. this is slightly disturbing, especially since it is not even september yet. almost, but not yet. i had to wear fall/winter shoes people!

you know, i might just make this the blog of the random memories that pop up througout the day. i've never been that great at keeping a journal and it would be nice to have them somewhere, even if they are horribly randomly put down somewhere. luckily, i do have tons of pictures that remind me.

i love pictures and usually i am the annoying person taking tons of photos and making people pose. i know, candids are better and i get those too, but once people realize what you are doing you've lost that flavor anyway. my favorite pictures, whether they are ones that i have taken or ones that i randomly come across, are those that look at someone in an unguarded moment. where perhaps they didnt' even realize the picture was being taken. in going through some old things at my parent's house i came across a picture of my grandfather, my dad's dad, reclining back in a chair, seeming to be talking to someone that must have been sitting across from him. i think he was holding something, there was a glass on a small table next to him. it is a completely unguarded moment. that's what is all about. maybe that is why i like pictures of people walking away from the camara, backs turned completely away from the viewer, holding hands, keeping distance between them, whatever. you see something that perhaps the subject would have hidden away, put a mask over. or you just get to have a clearer, truer emotion come out. something that would have been there anyway, just in a more authentic form.

well, that is quite a bit of that. you know i have one memory of my grandfather (he died when i was about 4 years old). i remember him and my grandmother coming to visit and parking in our driveway. they got out of the car and more than anything else, i remember feeling happy to see them and even more than that for some reason i remember the feeling that they were sooo happy to us. honestly, remembering the feelings may be something i put on that as i've gotten older, but i am sure that's how it was. i remember that grandad always (or at least once i suppose) brought pistachio ice cream with them. and i remember sitting at dinner, the whole family around the table, and i got to sit on my grandad's lap. i know that i felt so safe and so loved. this i know i remember correctly, it is so oddly clear. i had a little plastic placement that was of some sort of baby chicken or something fluffy and yellow-ish. and i distinctly recall being afraid the pistachio ice cream and refusing to eat it because it was green and therefore scared me. but what i really remember is feeling safe and loved and honestly, proud, that i got to be the one to sit on grandpa's lap. my family always prayed over every meal, but the only time i remember holding hands around the table to pray was when my dad's dad and stepmom, and later just my dad's stepmom would visit. now, my grandmother is another great memory. my father's mother died shortly before my parents were married, so my dad's stepmom was the only grandmother i knew as such. she is a wonderful lady and a story for another time.