i feel decidedly unsettled and tense today, though maybe that is left over from yesterday. not to mention that for weeks i have been more tired than usual and either have had less time for sleep or just not sleeping well at all. i hate feeling all tense and pissy. i think i might change the title of my blog. the whole point was that i love fresh mangoes in the summer, the way they fill the house with thier scent when i'd cut them up for breakfast on some really mellow, breezy summer morning, with van morrison playing in the living room. just thinking about that makes me long for it. but instead i have no saturdays to myself and it is chilly and rainy. i just wish this place i live was more hospitable, more sincere and open. and at work for some reason i am tense, and my friend who i normally talk to is kinda tense and pissy also. i tend to pick up on others' moods and adopt them as my own. i bet i'd feel better if we just got outta here and took a walk, or if we just had a good laugh. working with her yesterday was difficult, as she was not helpful or cooperative. argh.